Stop Judging, Start Adjusting: Why Coaching Works

People don’t like to be judged and criticised by others. But without a mirror to show the areas where change is needed there is no growth.

In a coaching conversation where the coach offers a reflective space for compassionate inquiry, the person gets to see things that they would have otherwise missed (for themselves). This is like being able to get the feedback one needs without the negativity associated with criticism and the feeling of being judged by another which often makes it hard to digest.

The very nature of the coaching conversation (one devoid of advice-giving) allows the person being coached the chance to delve into themselves and touch parts that need to be seen and heard. Equipped with these insights, the opportunities to learn and grow present themselves. The commitment and enthusiasm to act and follow through on a self-created plan are much higher than when one is told to do something by another. This combination of insight and self-driven action gets the tension of the strings just right. From this well-tuned instrument (the self that has been allowed to find its own right way forward) music plays.

The push and pull of deep inquiry followed by a commitment to learning and growth is what a coach facilitates. This self-adjustment (without judgment) is what often brings out the best in a person. Do you find yourself feeling a bit out of tune with the world? Get yourself a coach and tune into the right frequency, to play your best song. Allow a slight adjustment in self, with no judgment, to do its magic and like a well-tuned guitar, your music will flow.

Nikhil Dey is a certified ICF coach and founder of soul2solecoaching. He is the first recipient of the ICF India coaching excellence rising star award.